the holidays

It is hard for me to feel truely happy; to put a genuine smile on my face and enjoy the moment. During this Christmas I felt a sense of joy that doesnt happen quite often. The best gift this Christmas was this feeling. What made this Christmas different than the others? hmm i really dont know. I went to two awesome homes, my dad's uncles home, and my actual uncles house from my mom's side of the family. In both I had a good time. At my dad's uncles house, I ate great food, played a board game, and laughed a lot. At the other home, I did the same, minus the board game. umm i dont know what else to say...=]

2008

This year was an interesting one. I met a few new friends, continued to go to school, and many guys entered my life but in a matter of weeks disappeared. I always wonder what makes them go away. Is it that I talk way too much, or maybe i'm too NEEDy, or is it that my ass isnt big enough and i have noo boobs. Because I started to get hurt, I decided to change my ways and not take guys seriously for most of this year. It worked out pretty well, I just had fun. Once in while, I took a risk, and allowed myself to develop feelings for a few of the guys I met, but ha, as it always happens, there were good times, but eventually these men moved on. It's either I have fun, and not take things seriously, or want something meaningful but I become emotionally attached. I'm a weak person wen it comes to guys. Usually im not in the same page with them, sometimes not even in the same book. My sisters both have had serious relationship that have lasted more than a year, unlike me, the oldest of the three, have not had a real relationship. What do they have and i dont? i cant fucking figure it out. It's becoming pretty sad and pathetic, introducing a guy to my mother, and then her asking "liz so what happened to that guy?" (in spanish) i can't say, "well mom yet again he got sick of me and disappeared", so i just say he was a mean jerk and i didnt wanna talk to him anymore. But the truth is, he went away, not because i wanted him to, but he did. In high school, i was naive and thought oh there must be someone out there perfect for me, and it will be all romantic once i meet him. Well, lately there is noooo romance in my life, and perfection ha, thats not possible. I've dealt wit too much shit that now I am no longer going to look for that one spacial someone, i am just going to make myself happy, not want someone to make me happy.

my weekend high lights, and the bad stuff as well

So i had my 20th thanksgiving since i am 20 years old. This one in particular didnt not suck. I had family over from like noon til midnite. For lunch i had chicharones. fUNNY, this had nothing to do with thanksgiving. then later on wen i got hungry around dinner time, the food wasnt ready, so i had a tamel, and some pumkin pie. yummy. not really, though, cuz i dont really like tamales. after eating my awesome random meal, i played scrabble with my two sisters and three cousins. well they arent really my cousins, the are like distant relatives, but i dont like to complicate things soo i refer to them as cousins. we were too many players cuz it was 6 of us, so us smart latinas figured we should make teams. we were soooo CREATIVE we gave ourselves team names, my sisters nancy and fany were team "jalapenos" since they are mexicans. me and my "cousin" ceci were "purple betches" cuz we were both wearing purple. and my other two "cousins" i dont want to say the name cuz its very offensive. hehe. after our wonderful game of scrabble that we didnt even finish i got hungry again. our dinner table was filled with all sorts of interesting food including tacos de cabeza, lengua, and buche translated to cow's head, toungue, and pigs tummy. And for those who wanted to same old, there was turkey and mashed patatoes. =] after eating my multicultural meal, i went to visit my friend which i hadnt seen in months. he was home alone for this holiday so i went to bring some joy into his life cuz i am such an awesome funny person. it was nice seeing him cuz he loves me =] hehe. then midnite came and us crazy shopaholics, my sister and cousins, went to the great mall. i was on 680 waiting in traffic cuz other mall freaks wanted to go shopping too. fuck i was so mad in the mall cuz i could NOT get any recpetion . also i had to pee and i waited in line for like 15 min so i can be in the stall for 3. my thanksgiving was over at about 4 am=]

friday i woke up like at 11 something. hmm wat did i do? oh yea, i tried writing a paper, i sorta did, but i dont like it, its crap. hopefully my teacher thinks its the oppisite of crap. wtf is the opposite of crap? PEE, jk. ewww. it was a chill day, i took a walk with the guy i like =] which was cool. i went to watch four chrismases, not wat i expected, i thought it would b better. then after my amigo picked me up, but we didnt know what to do from 10-12 pm so for most of the time he drove around, we went to cambell,los gatos, over there around valley fair, back to sj and so forth, i saw like 295250 walgreens, it was like a tour of walgreens.

saturday was a LOOOOONG day. i met up my friend from stats class, and did two problems which took me two hrs cuz i kept chit chatting not doing hw. then i had to tutor at 12. at 1 ish i left the library cuz i was starving. made myself a burrito. then i had to go work on a lame ass presentation. went to my fav coffee shop. came back home, and wasted time

today, i went to work. i cried. the end.

Passion

I want to find my passion. I want to love something so much I dedicate my time, and effort in learning more about it.

I'm on a quest to search for my passion, wish me luck =]