the holidays

It is hard for me to feel truely happy; to put a genuine smile on my face and enjoy the moment. During this Christmas I felt a sense of joy that doesnt happen quite often. The best gift this Christmas was this feeling. What made this Christmas different than the others? hmm i really dont know. I went to two awesome homes, my dad's uncles home, and my actual uncles house from my mom's side of the family. In both I had a good time. At my dad's uncles house, I ate great food, played a board game, and laughed a lot. At the other home, I did the same, minus the board game. umm i dont know what else to say...=]

2008

This year was an interesting one. I met a few new friends, continued to go to school, and many guys entered my life but in a matter of weeks disappeared. I always wonder what makes them go away. Is it that I talk way too much, or maybe i'm too NEEDy, or is it that my ass isnt big enough and i have noo boobs. Because I started to get hurt, I decided to change my ways and not take guys seriously for most of this year. It worked out pretty well, I just had fun. Once in while, I took a risk, and allowed myself to develop feelings for a few of the guys I met, but ha, as it always happens, there were good times, but eventually these men moved on. It's either I have fun, and not take things seriously, or want something meaningful but I become emotionally attached. I'm a weak person wen it comes to guys. Usually im not in the same page with them, sometimes not even in the same book. My sisters both have had serious relationship that have lasted more than a year, unlike me, the oldest of the three, have not had a real relationship. What do they have and i dont? i cant fucking figure it out. It's becoming pretty sad and pathetic, introducing a guy to my mother, and then her asking "liz so what happened to that guy?" (in spanish) i can't say, "well mom yet again he got sick of me and disappeared", so i just say he was a mean jerk and i didnt wanna talk to him anymore. But the truth is, he went away, not because i wanted him to, but he did. In high school, i was naive and thought oh there must be someone out there perfect for me, and it will be all romantic once i meet him. Well, lately there is noooo romance in my life, and perfection ha, thats not possible. I've dealt wit too much shit that now I am no longer going to look for that one spacial someone, i am just going to make myself happy, not want someone to make me happy.