a poem i like

"Elena" by Pat Mora
My Spanish isn't enough.I remember how I'd smile listening to my little ones,understanding every word they'd say,their jokes, their songs, their plots. Vamos a pedirle dulces a mama. Vamos.But that was in Mexico.Now my children go to American high schools.They speak English. At night they sit aroundthe kitchen table, laugh with one another.I stand by the stove and feel dumb, alone.I bought a book to learn English.My husband frowned, drank more beer.My oldest said, "Mama, he doesn't want youto be smarter than he is." I'm forty,embarassed at mispronouncing words,embarassed at the laughter of my children,the grocer, the mailman. Sometimes I takemy English book and lock myself in the bathroom,say the thick words softly,for if I stop trying, I will be deafwhen my children need my help.

hahaha what i foud

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TiJNewpCnY&feature=player_embedded

my odd dream

I have been having random ass dream and this time I actually remember one. I killed some girl I didnt know in one of my dreams. Because I wanted to know the meaning of my dream I went on google and looked it up. To my surprise what I found out seems semi true. On some website it said "If you dreamed of killing someone, whether intentionally or by accident, it signifies a period of severe emotional stress during which you must make a heroic effort to control your temper. " I have been going through so much stress trying to make a decision about where to transfer. I've been so moody, mostly sad. I still am reluctant to do my intent to register because I don't feel in my heart that i'm going to be happy at Berkeley. If I don't go I might regret it for the rest of my life. I give up so easily. I gave up on dancing lessons. I gave up in two of my classes and this is something much more serious. I wish someone can tell me my future but too bad that's not possible. So I must overcome my fucking fears and do what i soooooooo dont want to.

mis sentimientos

hmmm no he escribido en espanol en mucho tiempo. Creo que soy una persona muy estudupida a veces. Se que no deberia hacer muchas cosas que hago pero de mensa voy y todavia lo sigo haciendo.

people come and go

I met the guy of my dreams.. He was kind, smart, and cared about me soo much. Wen we first met there was no spark and I actually thought he was a jerk. Then the second time we hung out everything changed, we clicked. We spent a lot of time together after that , and he has been the only guy that was completely accepting of me. As time passed my feelings towards him stopped, I still cared for him but I didn't like him more than a friend. I couldnt force myself to like him, so i had to b honest with him. After all this shit happened we were friends for a while but that has changed and he no longer is in my life. I miss him, but i must accept his decision to not be a part of my life anymore...

mistakes

I think wat i do best are mistakes. The older I am getting the more mistakes I am making. I've made mistakes that not only hurt me as an individual but those who don't deserve the pain that led to my selfish actions. I know we are human and its only normal to make mistakes, that though shouldnt be what people should live by. We are human and we should try to avoid mistakes. The reason why I am starting to think about the sucky person i am at times is because someone unexpectedly apologized to me, and i didnt deserve this apology. He brought up the past that I am ashamed of. I regret soo many things ive done in the past few years and now it is time for me to grow up.

vagina

Being a girl often sucks. Okay first of all having a fucking period sucks! Especially for those girls that seriously go through pain with those killer cramps. Also we have to worry about not getting pregnant! We are expected to be hairless, and wen someone sees a girl with hairy legs or anything OMG she's considered "disgusting." If a girl likes to fuck around a lot she's a often times called a major slut. We are "oh way to emotional and sensative" though its only freaking normal to express urself. But even with this i still LOVE being a girl =]